2026-04-28

roadmap / strategizing / identity crisis

Over the last half a year or so, I have managed to concoct a development strategy that seems like it will fit both my style of work and the project in question. While I like to do as many things as I can "by the book", it is far too daunting of a task for me to scope and budget such a huge game in its entirety. This is, after all, one of those games that can be expanded almost infinitely, in a variety of directions, depending on the interest and wishes of the players.

To be honest, I have no idea what version 1.0 will look like. There are many things I want to add, but spending a huge amount of time deciding if, hypothetically, I would want to add some feature a year or two or four from now into the development when I haven't even had the chance to get any feedback doesn't make any sense at all to me.

Instead, I have decided to develop the game in cycles. Right now I'm working on the alpha version - the second cycle and my next release - set for sometime (late) summer this year. I have a list of features I will add, after which I will test the game at some in-person events and gather some feedback. These events give me a nice, sensible deadline, while the limited timeframe makes it harder to overscope, avoiding this most common of pitfalls. It is, of course, also a valuable opportunity to meet colleagues and players, and, importantly for me, a good excuse to travel. This will all be complemented with a new (slight) marketing push and reaching out to more artists in an effort to add some more tracks to the music roster. After I have tested and fixed up the game, the release will follow and then; another cycle begins. Defining new development goals, a new deadline, marketing push, reaching out to more artists and then, again, in-person testing before a new release. Once I get any semblance of a community, we can get the hype train going for each release. We can get some funding for the next cycle. Much easier to manage, execute and not over-promise. All things considered, a sound plan.

Alas, I am not a project manager; nor do I aspire to become one. I really do want to minimize any administrative work. Although my business cards list "executive producer" as my title, that was mostly a joke and I really see myself as an artist first or, if you will, (in more business-like language) an art director. I'm not incredibly interested in being a CEO or something like that; especially now that I finally have the confidence to say that I am an ARTIST. As a matter of fact, my biggest inspiration are people like Henry Darger, but then again, while working a dead-end job and living like a hermit is definitely one of my options, it would be alright to make a living from my projects. Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life - that kind of thing. Although I am definitely not 'normal', it would be nice to preserve at least some semblance of normalcy in my life. If I was really meant to go the Darger route, I would've still been living in that squat.

However, this all kind of leaves me in an ideological clash. On the one hand, I want to have enough profit from the game so that I can at least preserve my current lifestyle and possibly offload some of the development work to a freelancer or two so that I can focus on the more artsy and directorial of tasks. This would inevitably involve running a company which would then add a lot more administrative work to the mix - the thing I wish to avoid. On the other hand, if I continue as a solo dev, the development will remain painfully slow and, depending on my life-situation, I will have to take on more unrelated jobs, which would, in turn, slow down the development even further and consequently ramp up the frustration. I wish there was a way that I could register my business as a religious movement. Curiously, this might not even be completely impossible, considering the brand evolution I have in mind, but I'm already revealing too much.

Anyhow, I guess the answer will be decided for me. Right now I have no choice but to proceed as I am doing now. Although I believe that this will change over time, neither the money nor the hype are not here yet. It's always a good time to stop over-thinking, but this might be an exceptionally good one. Back to coding it is.

-v

2026-03-14

huge updates, I swear, swear to god!!

The big refactor of the most important in-game system is almost finished. After months of work, returning players will finally be able to see that the game is almost exactly the same as before. Although it brings me immense satisfaction to see that many pieces of code are not nearly as dreadful as they used to be, me simply proclaiming that "now everything is better" does not really do much to get the hype train going. So why even bother? As long as the game works fine, who cares what's under the hood? Wasn't all of Undertale's dialogue in one large 1000+ values switch-case statement anyway?

Believe it or not, I do actually adhere to that principle. Hacky suboptimal solutions are here to stay.

On the flip side, time and time again it has been proven to me that when I do put in months of seemingly invisible work to future-proof some part of the project, the effort is almost always worth it. Building a PC to present the project with no clear dates in mind? Suddenly I get an opportunity for an in-person playtest and I already have everything set-up. Creating a Steam page but letting it sit unreleased? It's ready to be published before the playtest - no last-minute scramble neccessary and I can focus on polishing the prototype.

Moreover, there were some real issues that needed to be tackled by this refactor. The current version would always freeze after an hour of two of gameplay, meaning I would have to babysit the PC lest a bunch of individuals walk past a frozen game that otherwise might've tickled their fancy. Quite a few missed opportunities there, I reckon.

But the main point is still the future-proofing. As soon as I am completely done, it will be a breeze to add more events to the game, so the alpha will actually have many tangible differences.

Until then, you will have to trust me that everything is so much better now. Swear to God!

-v

2026-03-02

finally a real (rudimentary) music visualizer

Finally, the four second video loop running in the background is history! The two second video below demostrates:

Over the weekend (to take a break from programming) I have programmed a basic setup for an actual music visualizer. Connected to the audio signal is a bouncing Pill Pusher pill symbol and a fractal shader made by some cool person that shared it for free on github.

This setup now not only syncs to actual music that plays in the game, but also allows me to create different presets and control their intensity depending on what is going on. Rising stakes with more and more drugs being moved, a playlist of tracks with rising bpm, a rise of intensity in the visuals; my goal with all of this is to create synaesthesia between audio, visuals and the simulation. I hope to create a novel experience in a genre where games often lack even a soundtrack (think Gear City, Football Manager).

I always think of making games in the sense of making a total work of art. All the parts need to fit and they all need to have a why. That being said, I don't think that this approach is any better than others -- there cannot be a "right" approach -- but this is the only one that works for me and my brain. Regardless, while being aware of the many pitfalls of perfectionism, my main goal is still only to create the best possible game. If I am even partially successful, I am confident that recognition will follow.

-v

2026-02-20

big refactor: legal upgrade

Who doesn't like the police? They're the cool guys fighting the evil bad guys and they would never do something like harass you for no reason or beat the shit out of you at a political protest or because they found some weed on you.

I have been working on a huge update concerning the event system in the game; arguably the most important part of it since it represents the core of the simulation. With this new system, we already have cool stuff like logging, and we'll even be able to add saving and loading the game in the future. A standout feature (most games don't have this – correct me if I'm wrong).

Anyway, since I know most of my audience thinks the police is really cool and awesome, I put in a lot of work making the police and judicial simulation a lot more robust.

Right now, I have heard that some players were experiencing not even encountering the police once. Selling drugs without the risk of losing your freedom, where is the fun in that?

In the prototype, there was only a steep fine issued if you're caught with a bag of pills, but that's not very realistic.

In the updated version, the outcome of your encounter with the police depends on factors such as how many pills you get caught with, whether or not you have a criminal record and all that good stuff. You might get arrested, let go or the officers might even fail to find the contraband entirely (although, I doubt it, police officers are usually very intelligent). Furthermore, all the seized pills get tested, so if you're caught carrying 200 caffeine pills, you *will* eventually get exonerated, but only after spending a month or two in the can, because the proceedings of the courts are painfully slow, just like in real life! But who knows, you just might end up meeting a new future client or two during your vacation at the local jail.

This is precisely where Pill Pusher *Deluxe* differs from other drug dealing -themed games. It is not simply gamifying the fun aspects of drug dealing, it also simulates the excruciating bureaucracy of its consequences.

I am quite excited about the alpha release. With each addition, the amount of possibilities for storytelling grow exponentially. The first playtests will be in May and I am excited to see the reactions, yet the immutable fact of a lot of work having to be done remains.

-v

2026-02-15

introduction

3 years since my conceptualization of this idea and 2 years into the development I have finally arrived at writing the first dev log.

I often choose to work on my projects without sharing much, even with people I know in real life and I never really talk much to people online. In fact, sometimes I go for days without talking to anyone, but I doubt this is strange behaviour for a game developer. Despite that, I am incredibly serious about projects that I commit to; I zealously adhere to working on them, as if a matter of life and death, but this is known only to some people that know me personally and even though I have (attempting to overcome my shyness) met quite a few people in recent years, it is inevitable that most people interested in this project will be strangers from the internet and because I understand that (as a stranger on the internet myself) working in silence does not garner me any favors, I have decided to also commit to writing periodical dev logs to show the progress that I am making.

Documentation is important, especially in a big project such as this — I have written quite a bit of it so far — and these dev logs are just that; documenting the process of creation. Conveniently, I also enjoy writing.

I am excited to see the project grow, but also to look back on these posts as they will be another testament to the rollercoaster ride and the relentless grind that is creative work.

-v

2025-12-29

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